quickie

Ruby and I are off to the dr. this morning, just for a regular OB check, so I don't have any extra time to post.

I wanted to put this picture of James' haircut up as proof to my mother.

My camera was on some strange setting I was using outside so it looks all goofy. Oops.

Have a nice Wednesday. xoox

p.s. The sweatshirt James is wearing is a 4T and so close to being too short for him but he loves it. He's never noticed how the little tab on the pocket says babyGap or he'd never still be wearing it. heehhehehe. ((my boy.))

and something for the baby daddy

What man wouldn't love this card? I saw it somewhere online maybe a month or so ago and instantly went over and bought it from these St. Paul artists. I am saving it for Christmas or for a day when I think he needs to hear this particular message from me. (like if he breaks down and cries like a baby because he loves me so much.) HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.

xoxo

p.s. I updated my own etsy shop today with some of my holiday scarves. Look here! :)

my happy-baby-to-me present

Today I purchased my happy-baby-to-me present. I ordered a truck load of magazine subscriptions!! Woo hoo! I haven't had any since Ruby was born (they probably ran out when she was around a year) so this is very exciting for me.

I love magazines. I love books first but magazines are a close second. I can hardly stand the thought of going to bed at night if I don't have a book or a magazine to read when I get there. Sometimes it is only for 5 minutes but it's a favorite & necessary part of my daily routine. I rarely buy either (except as an occasional splurge), preferring to get them all from the library. (some libraries in our system let you check out current issues and they can all be put on hold online) The truth is, as much as I love them, lots of times magazines are disappointing (aside from US because gossip is always fun), and not worth their purchase price. So why did I just spend $60 on them?!?

Well, when I have a new baby, all bets are off. I deserve to be pampered a little and getting a new magazine in my mailbox could be just the lift I need to get through the afternoon. My ability to remember to put stuff on hold will diminish for a while and there will probably be some days that stopping by the library will even feel like too much. So, Yay!! I ordered Oprah, Everyday with Rachel Ray, Country Living, Body & Soul, and Family Fun. (I might slip a Real Simple in there if I can find a good price someday.) I also ordered Mental Floss for Patrick for Christmas (this is a really good, newish magazine that he really liked when I brought one home (from the library)...I'm so excited to surprise him.) and Boys Life for James. I used this site to search for deals and ended up getting 4 of them from Amazon and 3 from dotcommags.com. Right now Amazon has additional dollars off on lots of their subscriptions. You can see a list of them here. Overall I spent $62 for 7 subscriptions and have 2 gifts taken care of. Right now I'm going to order the kids each a pair of Hanna Andersson pajamas (also a splurge but the one thrifted pair of bottoms I got for James are his favorite. He said they're "soooo super soft.") and have 2 more gifts done. Fun. :)

p.s. The other great thing about magazines? Your friends (& mothers) love when you pass them on. :)

Other titles I might like, for future reference (or santa): US weekly , Every Day Food (the Martha one), Real Simple, and if it was free, Martha Stewart Living. xoxoxo

okay, I'm back again

It is (another) gorgeous day here in Wisconsin and we have all the windows thrown open and laundry on the line. Ruby told me this morning she just wanted to stay home (we had a fun & busy weekend) and I couldn't agree more. So, here we are. I'm getting lots of unpacking (long story) done in between laundry, hug time and helping to tuck babies in.

On my mind lately in Christmas. It is coming faster than I like. Well, not really Christmas, but Thanksgiving and the Craftacular weekend. 3 weeks?? Really?! I dropped all expectations for myself a couple of weeks ago (as far as quotas & my schedule of making) and that has worked out well. I didn't want to stress out during November to meet some goals I set for myself before I knew our household would be sick for most of October. That seemed silly.

I am taking great strides to take care of myself and listen to what I need these days. When I am stressed out, I pray and make some lists about why and how and what is making me feel that way, and try to listen and wait for solutions. When I am crabby I step back and see if I think it will pass or if it feels like something more. When I am tired, I rest. When I am really tired, I cry and rest and pray that tomorrow will feel better and probably eat some ice cream. And tomorrow usually does feel better. See, when I found out I was pregnant I stopped taking my antidepressants. I had been weaning myself off of them for a while, having a feeling that I would be okay without them, and getting the baby news, well, I just quit one day. (NOTE: This is not recommended and I would not suggest anyone else do this. It worked for me but now that I look back there were some small strange things going on that didn't add up...now I know why. :)

I loved my sertraline. (generic Zoloft) Loved it. It came to the rescue when I needed it and took care of some stuff in my body that I couldn't do by myself. That deep sadness lifted, like magic. I was left feeling so much like myself again but also with some nice extra benefits. Those benefits were the reason it was hard to go off of the drug. The little pesky things in life, that can bother anyone to one degree or another, didn't really bother me anymore. I was not like a robot or anything, I want that to be clear, but I was so much more capable of telling myself that it, whatever it might be, didn't really matter. Constantly I said to myself, Let it go, Stephanie. And I would! Those little things people say unintentionally that can hurt your feelings? Done dwelling on that. The tiny stuff my husband does to make me crazy? No big deal. Worrying about my actions pleasing everyone else? Pffft, puh-leeze. It was so nice!! The really nice thing, though, is that after 2 years of telling myself that, I really learned to tell myself that. Like, on my own! What a gift.

There were some times during those first few exhausting months that I wondered if I had made the right decision. Everything is so much harder when you are that tired, you know? The good thing was that I always knew I could go back on them if I needed to. And I still know that. (Zoloft is thought of as safe during pregnancy and I am not trying to tell anyone to go off of it. This was obviously a personal decision that I had been moving towards for a while before the pregnancy news.) It's like a little "get out of jail free" card tucked in my pocket.

I have to say the constant self-checks and self-analyzing that I do now gets a little old sometimes but I really feel like I want to stay on top of my self, if that makes sense. I don't want to allow anything to sneak up on me again. I feel really good about the way things are going. I mostly feel like my normal self, pretty happy with some manic episodes thrown in to keep things spicy.

I didn't sit down with a plan to write about all of this. I had been wanting to share it, as I think being on the drugs helped me learn some really healthy skills that I had never before learned...an excellent side effect if you will, but not today. I sat down to write about how I am glad that once the Craftacular is over I will still have a month just to focus on all things Christmas with my family. And how I am really excited for Thanksgiving weekend and my mom's visit and the Craftacular day. And how we are setting a budget of $100 for each of our kids and how that probably seems like too much to some and too little to others. (it's just right for us.) And how the Advent Conspiracy will play a role in our holiday again this year, and some day I'd like to tell you about how powerful the Sunday at church was last year when they took that collection from us. (the air was thick, heavy, with God. You could almost physically feel it.) (I guess I just told you.)

SO. whew. Now I am done and have to get back to the other stuff this day has for me. Thanks for reading all of this, if you did. If anyone had any of the same experiences or anything at all, I'd love to hear it. xoxo

remember this about ruby

I keep putting this off but know I shouldn't much longer. There are so many things Ruby is doing right now that I don't want to forget. The cute way they say stuff sometimes changes overnight and is gone from my brain almost as fast.

So, here is some stuff I (extra) love about Ruby right now:

how she says her underwear are "inside outside" instead of inside out
saying "wis one" or "wat one"
still crazy in love with my hair, says black is her favorite color (um, hello Ruby, it's CHESTNUT)
she says she can "easily" do almost anything
(ie: I can easily catch that bird)
how she will climb up behind me on the chair and pretty soon I will feel something rubbing on my back. I turn around and it is her bare bum. She thinks this is hilarious.

Okay, of course I am now forgetting the rest. I will add to this, I promise (myself.)

xoxo

dear us,

love, Saturday

24+340+160+98.6=

one messed up day.

It was 24 hours between when we left home on Thursday and arrived back home on Friday.

It was 340 miles that I drove during that time.

It was $160.00 that I spent on gas & hotel during that time.

It was 98.6 on the thermometer this morning that has me kicking myself.

bygones.

xoxo

one small thing

One thing I love about life with kids: How something that is SO challenging or SO frustrating one day can be nearly forgotten within such a short time. I took pictures of all of this the other night because it seemed like SUCH a big deal and now, a few days later, it seems kind of silly. Just another normal night with kids, right? The trick for me is to try and remember what worked...and what didn't...during those frustrating times, so I might as well document it.

Monday night was really frustrating and challenging with James. He was just in a rage, talking super snotty to me and yelling...just being a beast. I ended up making him go to his room and told him he couldn't come out until he A) ate his snack (I did know he was hungry but he had kind of gone past normal hungry, I think, and was totally irrational) and B) cleaned up his room. He sat in there hollering for a good 10 minutes, demanding a different snack on a different plate, saying his room was too messy, until I brought him up this little check list. Shortly after, there was total quiet. About 20 minutes later he opened his door and called for me to come and see his room. He had made his bed...

and cleaned up all of his toys.
The checklist really made a difference for him. I think a whole floor of toys can be overwhelming to anyone (especially because MOST of his bedroom stuff gets sorted) and while I still help him a lot of times, this was a consequence for the foul attitude. He liked the checklist so much that he stuck it on his door, to help him other times, he said. (insert heart breaking) He had eaten his snack, finished his milk, cleaned his room, and was a different kid the rest of the night. (tormented his sister, played Legos, chased his father, etc.)

I use checklists all the time so I'm going to try and remember to use them more often with him. A small thing that made a huge difference.

I suppose that is worth remembering. :)

xoxoo

baby hat

baby hat, originally uploaded by stephaniekg.

Thankfully I did have 2 successes before that horrible hat failure I showed you the other day. This little hat turns out darling and goes together easily. It is from the Lotta Jansdotter book, Simple Sewing for Baby. The one shown here is the size the book pattern makes as is. I reduced it to make a tiny one, for a tiny newborn, and that also turned out well. I wish I knew what size/age baby this one fits. I hope it fits the intended at some point this winter.

xoxo

p.s. I need a new header!!!!!

tuesday, pm edition

Here are a couple shots from, well, I bet you can figure out when they're from. James could care less about dressing up. He just wants the minimum costume required in order to get candy. It was pretty cold out and this power ranger suit was the roomiest thing in our play clothes, good for layering, so a power ranger he was! We have the belt and mask but he wasn't interested. Ruby wore James' skeleton from last year. Easy. The little witch is our buddy Megan. Her sister the turtle was interested in the photo op. They enjoyed handing out candy almost as much as collecting it...Ruby likes to give big handfuls.

Fun day today. It is my friend Susan's birthday (Happy Birthday, Susan!!) so we met up with her and some other friends for coffee & treats this morning. Then Ruby & I got groceries and then, surprise!, I got my H1N1 vaccine. I'm glad to have finally gotten one, now let's hope it works.

Time to go get the boy. Praying for a better afternoon than yesterday. Well, yesterday was really bad for a while but then turned out pretty good. I took some pictures...maybe for tomorrow? I just love when things turn around. Some time away (in his room) is usually what it takes to get James back on track. Why do I feel guilty for doing it then?? Ugh, parenthood. :) xoxo