A new day...

thank God for new days, you know? Even new moments.

I met Kate last night for a beer and then the bookstore. I had so much fun! We talked about everything and I felt much happier on my way home. Thanks, Kate.

We met Kate & Natalie this morning at Madtown Twisters and that was fun, too. It is raining buckets here but we really needed to get out of the house. As we were getting ready to go James ran out the first doors and into the foyer. I was buckling Ruby in and had just told him to stay by me. I got SO MAD at him and dragged him over to this stair while he was yelling and acting like an animal. I raised my voice as well. I felt embarrassed about doing that in front of people but every mom there (and I'm glad there were only a couple at that point) has had to have experienced that before. James & I need to practice him responding to my call. It's such a new level of anger when he doesn't listen and I have Ruby, too. I can't just go trotting after him. In this case, he was one door away from the parking lot. Not cool. I think I need to be more specific with him. Not just "stay by mom" but "STAY RIGHT HERE." With severe consequences if he doesn't listen. Two nights ago I saw a little girl almost get hit in the Whole Foods parking lot. Her dad screaming her name seemed to make the whole parking lot fall silent. Thank God she was okay. That stuff can happen so fast, it's scary. BUT, my main point is (finally) that I was feeling embarrassed and angry in the van afterwards but realized I had to let it go. The day was not ruined, I didn't need to stay mad at James. It was one awful scene but it was over. Thank God.

(Why is it that I have to have these same realizations over and over.
Why can't I just learn it once?)

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