why 2 hours sometimes feels like 20...

7:20 - I wake up, happy to have a few minutes of quiet time

7:30 - James & Ruby wake up

  • nurse Ruby on one side while James politely knocks on his door
  • let James out
  • play, squeal in delight (them, not so much me) (though I do love them)
  • change diapers
  • wish I had some coffee
  • ruby crawl after me crying (separation anxiety, anyone?)
  • offer Ruby milk, she screams and stiffens her back (ok! no milk, i get it!)
  • James poops
  • change James, tell him he's wearing underpants or nothing (he peed on the potty last night)
  • get selection of underpants and outweigh the pros and cons of each pair, decide and put on (him, not me)
  • change James' underpants as his little parts feel to0 wiggly
  • go upstairs to get dressed and get 1.5 minutes "alone" time due to threat of James going to his room if he follows me upstairs, listen to Ruby scream like she's being electrocuted while I hurry into my pants and socks
  • start breakfast
  • make sausage, cut apple, heat pears and prunes, make oatmeal, defrost blueberries, get glass of milk, glass of water, bottle of water, oops forgot the bib, get kix
  • scarf oatmeal while James removes offending apples and Ruby grunts and squeals
  • Ruby tries to poop
  • clean them off, James wants to watch TV but has to sit on potty first, Ruby wants to finish pooping and sleep (still no coffee)
  • head upstairs, put Ruby in crib with lots of fun toys and mobile on, head into bathroom to lovingly encourage James while he tries to pee
  • Ruby screams, "Oh, HELL no!"
  • Leave James while he's trying to balance very large lift-the-flap book on knees and go fetch Ruby
  • Ruby has pooped, James yells for me to read to him
  • Bring poopy Ruby into bathroom to explain to James I can't read right now, go to change Ruby
  • Back to James, still reading, now reclined, penis pointed directly at wall
  • Get him off the potty, sing praises for trying, A for effort, all that crap
  • Make him pick up all his discarded clothes and socks (we must be naked to potty, duh)
  • Quietly sneak into Ruby's room to nurse her - nurse quietly for 3 minutes
  • James enters, "I am not having fun downstairs"
  • James leaves and returns with book, pillow and blanket to lay by my feet while I nurse Ruby (who needs a lap dog?)
  • James speaks, after explicit orders not to, Ruby narrows her eyes at me
  • Order James downstairs, tell him to turn on TV, will be down in 5 minutes
  • Finish nursing Ruby and lay her down (thankfully separation anxiety is not an issue when she's tired)
  • Go down to find James watching a woman in labor on TLC
  • Turn on Backyardigans

9:30 - GET COFFEE!!!!


  1. You forgot fend off call from Kate at 8:44 am on Tuesdays and Thursdays.....


  2. hahaha. it was good to see you on Tues - I'll call you later.


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