meet the flockers

So. I've been going to this meeting for moms at our church every other Thursday - it's called Titus. Last week I was thinking that it's almost more trouble than it's worth. It's early, it's in Madison, the kids both cry when I drop them off, blah blah blah. I was really looking for a Bible study geared towards parenthood and this is more of a "time away" for moms, with a different speaker every time and then time with your flock. ahem. You heard me right, your flock.

The flock is a small group that you are placed in based on where you live. Because, heaven knows, you can't make friends with those who live more than 20 miles from you. hahaha. I think the name is corny but I'm sure they have their reasons. I feel like one of the older ones in my flock (because I am) and hadn't really gotten to know anyone yet. I almost didn't go this week but prayed about it and trusted that if it was supposed to work out, it would. It did. We were all up early and in relatively good spirits (aside from the pooping issue that Ruby was struggling with) so Patrick helped me out and we made it on time, even 5 minutes early! (8:40 - see, I'm not making up the early part.)

The topic today was finances, which has really been on my mind & heart for a while. I feel like we are blessed financially - not filthy rich, but nicely comfortable - and sometimes it seems like we're not being wise with what we have. Money is a very personal issue so I'm not going to get into details but I think money stuff impacts almost all of us in one way or another. Almost everyone at my table this morning was nodding along and had something to talk about during our flock time. (hahahha - that just cracks me up) So what happened is what I had hoped would happen...I got to talking with some people and really enjoyed myself. So, I'm happy. It was a really good morning, I learned some stuff, got to have some good conversation, and James & Ruby did really well.

I was feeling really emotional around the holidays. I wasn't sure why exactly but just knew that I really needed some changes in my life. I think my life had gotten very small, as they say, and being home with 2 kids (& having James give up his nap AND start waking up earlier) was feeling very challenging (read: awful). Now, don't get me wrong, I think it IS very challenging but not as bad as it was feeling then. I definitely still have really hard days and times but the little & not so little things that have happened have made a HUGE difference for me. We found a church that Patrick and I both really like, I started going to Titus - which gives me a break from the kids and some time with other women, I've met some more women in my town, and I joined the gym. I still need to find a babysitter so my husband & I can get some regular time together, outside of the house, and I want someone to come over and be with the kids while I am here doing other stuff maybe once or twice during the week.

I remember meeting Kate one night around Christmas time and feeling like EVERYTHING in the world was wrong. I was upset about normal mom stuff, stuff within our playgroup, global warming, pork contamination...you name it. Some little thing had happened with another woman in our group and it was bothering me SO MUCH. Talking with Kate made me realize that I really had all my eggs in one basket - our playgroup. Now this group has been a total blessing for 3 years, and still is in a lot of ways, but I was just really ready for more. Kate, I just have to thank you again for being such a good friend & listener.

So, anyways, that's what's on my mind today. I really use this blog as a journal of our daily lives and don't normally have time to post anything in depth. I want to remember this, though, because it really feels like a turning point for me and I am so grateful. I don't think any of this good stuff happened by chance - it's all been in answer my prayers & the prayers of those who love me. Thank you. xoxo

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