I'm so going off my meds
I mean...I feel FINE. Seriously.
haha - I'm kidding but it is kind of amazing, really. It's been 2 weeks today since I started taking the Zoloft and that heavy feeling of sadness has all but disappeared. I felt better a few days in and that has just continued...so slowly that I haven't even noticed. I can remember that I felt that way but it seems like a distant memory.
What has been so reassuring for me is that I still feel like myself. I still have little mood swings and get frustrated with the kids. I still had some PMS and was kind of cranky. I wasn't sure if I would turn into a Stepford wife...I didn't really want to. (haha) I didn't want something that would glaze over me and leave me not feeling my life anymore...it's MINE and I want to feel it. All of it. I would have hated to not be me on these meds and then go off of them and have my family want the medicated Stephanie back.
I've always believed that depression is an actual illness. But now I know that for myself. To have been quite suddenly feeling so low and have this medicine take only that feeling away and still leave everything else...I'm astounded and thankful. (so is my husband. xoxo)
I just took a short break to go kiss James goodnight and decided I'm done talking about depression. It's almost time for Top Chef! Unfortunately I am out of watermelon...what will I snack on? And last night's tacos? Really, really good. What else? Oh yeah! I miss the thrift store. I decided August was buy nothing month and I am missing dig & save big time. I did buy myself some new blue toenail polish, inspired by mamamilkers, but other than gifts, I have bought nothing for myself or my family. This hiatus will end on Day One of my vacation, of course.