cupcakes bad, taser good

OMgosh. I was expecting to pick up James from preschool this morning and instead I got a monster. There was a small episode before we left the building and I didn't think much of it. (even though he was darting to and fro, all wild eyed, with brown crumbs around his howling mouth) On the way to the van I saw two other mothers all but dragging their children along. Hmmmm, now I've never seen that before.

I realized what was going on (un-healthy snack due to birthday festivities) and quickly gave him some milk and almonds. Figuring that would be that, we headed to the grocery store. OMg. At one point I had to buckle him into the "fun" bench cart and was totally resisting the urge to either shake the crap out of him or cuff him upside the head WHILE Ruby pinched my back. (she was in the mei tai, or however the hell you spell it) I cut the trip short, sparing their young lives.

On the way home James was kicking the seat. I pulled over and, while showing empathy and love, ripped off removed his shoes and threw them to set them down in the back of the van. A bit later he unbuckled his car seat. HELLO! Again I pulled over, re-buckled him and told him not to worry. Not choosing to take my advice, he worried all the way home. (mwah ha ha)

Upon arrival I whisked him up to his room and shut the door. He was wailing about wanting lunch and blah blah blah. I quietly unloaded the groceries, fed Ruby and I and got his lunch ready. I brought it up to him (he had calmed down) and told him he was being punished and he had to have his door closed for quiet time. He hates this but knows that if he opens it, I lock it. (haven't had to actually do that for a while. very nice.)

He emerged, with my permission, over an hour later with a whole new attitude. I knew he needed to eat and have some down time until the sugar rush had passed. I've never seen him react like this before but he usually has sweet treats after a meal.
Sadly, there's another birthday next Tuesday. I will be ready this time.
(I'm thinking taser.)


  1. I've said it before, but I'll say it again, YOU CRACK ME UP! That boy cracks me up!

  2. Also, not sure where EXACTLY you are from in Wisconsin, but my boyfriend is from Kenosha. We go there to visit his family a few times a year and I LOVE WOODMANS! I have to go there every time we visit - I know it's kinda weird, but I can't resist that place. I also make him take me to Gurney Mills and Noodles and Co. because we don't have one of those around our parts:( Small world!

  3. Oh man. I don't want her to grow up. You'd think the mamas who all suffer through this together could reach some consensus on the risk/benefit conundrum of bad birthday snacks. I'm not sure if any birthday but my own kid's birthday is worth that kind of insanity.

    Feeling for you . . . . and I love Ruby's new vocabulary. Monster and shovel. She rocks.

  4. Hey Sondra, We live near Madison. Woodmans is huge and overwhelming but I am strangely drawn to it as well. Noodles is also a favorite. Where are you at?

    Oh, and I've never been to Gurney Mills but have always wanted to go.


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