reporting live from my bedroom...




There were a few hours there yesterday where I couldn't see anything on my blog but the header and sidebar stuff...pretty weird. Thankfully, it returned. Thanks for the feedback, you guys. I thought I was (once again) losing my mind.

I am such a slug this week. I am fighting off something or have a mild something that has just worn me down. I will have periods of energy that I am using to do the most important stuff like feeding children & exercising and then periods of tired where I do the other important stuff like napping.

I pretty much had to force myself to take a shower yesterday afternoon and go out for an allergy support meeting last night. I am so glad I did. They had a local pediatric allergist there who told us about the latest research findings and answered any other questions we had. Next year is a big change for us and I have some extra anxiety about the whole allergy aspect to it. (kindergarten) (which I am now very excited for after this loooong week!) ;) I'm so thankful that Wendy invited me last night and took the initiative to set up our meeting tomorrow, it will be so good to have some answers about our local school system. Answers always make me feel better. That and lots of prayer.

I don't let myself dwell on how serious his allergies are very often. I think it's a coping mechanism, for sure. I feel like I've made a couple mistakes or bad judgement calls in the last year and they are right there to haunt me if I think about them. I talked a little about one last night...the uncertainty I experienced in a situation and the hesitancy I had to use the epi pen...and felt a bit judged by some of the women sitting nearby. (their looks) There was a man sitting in the front row who later turned around and told me about a reaction his daughter had and how he waited (and waited) before giving the epi pen. He said, "I am a cardiac surgeon. I deal with acute situations all the time and I hesitated with my daughter. It is so hard to know sometimes." I could have just hugged him. Later I talked to Patrick more about it and he was so sweet to me, too.

All of this left me thinking about how much a word or a look from another person can bring us up or down. I want to make it a daily prayer of mine to be someone who brings others up. I want to have a gentleness with people. I want to remember how thankful I am when someone shows that gentleness to me.

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I am now shutting off my emotions. See that large stack of books up there? Have I mentioned how much I love the library? Time to go have another cup of coffee and cuddle up with Rubes and our new books.

xoxo

Comments

  1. Maybe I'm a little emotional this week but your comment about how you felt when those women "looked" at you, made me a little teary eyed. I hope you know what a great mom you are and that we all have to make really hard choices at times. Who are they to judge you? It was your situation - not theirs. I'm proud of you. James and Ruby are so blessed to have you for their mother. I too have felted judged by people for the way I've parented at times but I do the best I can for my family.

    xoxo
    you know who I am

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  2. You always make bring me up Stephanie, I don't think it's something you have to work at . . . it's a gift you have.

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  3. thank you heidi & anon. xoxo sniffle. :)

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  4. I don't have to make epi-pen decisions but I do make treatment decisions all the time (asthma) and I know exactly what you are writing about. What if I chose another route of treatment at one particular time? What if I asked for a second doctor to look at an xray? What if I didn't agree to a change in medication? These things haunt me and THEN some well-intentioned person will tell me about their "friend" who was cured with acupuncture.

    Best to go with your gut and not think too much, say I. Your instincts are, no doubt, well-honed.

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  5. thank you, bb. Man, it's scary stuff.

    Seriously you guys...these comments are like little hugs. thank you.

    who are you, anon?? :) good night!

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  6. Hi,

    We don't know each other. I stumbled upon your blog, oh, I don't even know how anymore, but I look forward to reading it. I really appreciate your outlook on life. You are funny, sweet, grateful, and you seem to be a lovely mama and wife. I'd like to think if we knew each other in real life, we'd be friends. I agree with the above poster. Doesn't seem to me that you need to work on being gentle. I think you got it and show it everyday!

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  7. oh, that was so sweet. hi, anonymous #2. thank you. xo

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  8. Well, I dont know what to write, because all the other comments have said it! You are the best mom for James and Ruby and you were chosen to raise, parent, and love them and make the hard decisions for them, no one else. Of all the women in the world, God chose you to be the wonderful mom you are to those two adorable children! So..yeah...who are they to judge.

    We haven't had to use the epi-pen yet, but man, I don't even want to be in that place to have to make that decision. that is terrifying just thinking about it. Making the decision to use the Benadryl when Mx was so tiny was painful enough.
    and yes, you are an uplifting, encouraging, non-judgemental person to be around...you don't need to work at it.

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