let's be honest here

I am a little sick of walking.  I miss my other exercises but don't really have time (or want to make time) to do more than the walking right now.  I still enjoy the Leslie or Biggest Loser walks but mixing them up with real fresh air walks is helping a lot.  I'm glad I made a public goal or I'd be slacking off right now.  :)  How are my walking friends doing?

I am going to try and do these arm exercises a few times a week.  My arms are feeling especially neglected and these really won't take much time.

I am also feeling a little discouraged as there has been no weight or inches lost.  Well, there might have been some inches but this week is not a good week to measure if you know what I mean.  I'm thinking the discouraging thoughts might coincide with some hormonal shifts so I'm trying to go easy on myself this week. 

The middle of the night is always the hardest time for me.  Is it for you?  The middle of the night is when I replay things that have happened during the day (or previous days) that hurt my feelings a little or made me feel bad in some way.  It's when I think I want to write super crabby blog posts or stop blogging altogether.  It's when I wonder why I bother sharing such personal stuff here.  Why I don't just keep it to my kids and leave it at that.  It's when I tell myself I'm stupid for making a goal that isn't even doing ONE THING.

I hate the middle of the night.  Thankfully, it's followed by the morning.

Like this morning, I am feeling good again.  I can brush off that statement made to me yesterday that treadmills are 100x better for exercising or that what I'm doing isn't working.  Yes, that stuff bothered me a little.  I don't have a treadmill or a gym nearby that I can join.  The closest one is 20 minutes away (hi Heidi!) and getting there around my baby's nap schedule would be nearly impossible.  I'm not losing weight (this month) but I know why.  (shhhh.  I still eat brownies.)  If I could do an interval training on the treadmill I probably would see faster results (like a woman told me last night) but you know what?  I didn't start this for only visible results.  I need to remind myself of that.  I've been exercising for 2 months today (woohoo!) and feel really, really good about it.  I've started back with a habit that I know will only serve me well, no matter what.  I like to thank God every time I exercise.  I don't want to take a single day with my healthy body for granted. 

I want you to know this is not aimed at anyone who reads this blog.  I have gotten nothing but support here and it means SO MUCH to me.  Any insecurities I have about blogging are from, well, my insecurities.  :)  It can be hard to "put yourself out there" in all areas of life and this is just one of them.

The other side of this is this:  I do want to lose weight, too.  At least 20 lbs.  I didn't want to get discouraged so I knew I had to focus on exercising first and I did.  I am not sure if I want to join WW again ($) or just try to count calories on my own.  (I might email you, Sybil.  :)  )  I really thing that the MAIN thing I need to do is really watch my treats at night.  I eat fairly healthy during the day (though my portions might be too large...that is so easy to do) but kind of pig out at night on sweets.  This is a bad habit/sugar craving that I know is hard to break.  I have some ideas of things to try (of course I do...haha) but am not trying anything until this week is over.  (if you know what I mean.)  ;)

So that is the long look at what's swirling around in my head this morning.  (and last night.)  Right now I'm going to put my naughty little pickles (up FIVE times last night) in his stroller and hit the pavement. 

Thanks for always listening and visiting me here.  xoxox


  1. Lets talk about how i wake up in the middle of the night obsessively worrying when I SHOULD BE SLEEPING. Sigh.

  2. I'm glad to read that I'm not the only one who can't resist nightly treats! I've always been impressed with the work-outs you're able to do:)

  3. (((Hug))) it is so hard!

    Here's what I think:

    -start counting calories for even just a few days. It might be really eye-opening to you. It was to me! I am a healthy eater but still made choices that were high in calories. Try to keep your calories in line with your goal weight. So for me, my goal weight is about 160 or so, so I would eat 1600 calories. (Another example: If your goal was 143, then eat 1430 calories). I use myfitnesspal.com and they have a great app for android and iphone if you have one. Super easy.
    -IMO walking is kind of a crap exercise for weight loss. I haven't been walking much this month with Matt out of town more than half of it and the weather being insane, but even when I walked 15 miles a week at 3.5 mph I saw little change.
    -do you have access to a pool? The best, easiest, most fun workout I do (or rather, did. I don't right now) is swim laps. I don't have a fancy stroke, just do my little breast stroke back and forth. No sweating! When I lost weight for my wedding I swam twice a week for about 40 mins and then did lots of ab work for my "problem area" and I lost about 15 lbs.
    -the more often I eat after dinner the more I want to. Try super hard to take three nights off of not eating after dinner and see if it gets easier. I give myself Fri and Sat as a snack night so I can eat a snack after dinner, but come Sun I am dying for another one then.
    -have you tried a HR monitor? Maybe you aren't working as hard as your body can work? I have heard that works for some people, to have those numbers as feedback

    Take this advice with a grain of salt bc I am not exactly watching the lbs melt away, but it helps somewhat.

    Okay, let's talk more soon. Oh! I bought my tix to come to MI/WI this summer and really hope we can get together!

  4. thank you so much, Sybil! Lots of good ideas here and I am very grateful. A friend just told me about a cool site today, too: sparkpeople.com I will check out the one you mentioned. No iphone, though. My sister called this morning and suggested we should only eat night time treats every OTHER night. Sounds like same idea you had, and I think it's a great one. I'll be in touch, thanks again! :)

    holly - night time treats are sooooo tempting, aren't they?

  5. 1. Weight loss or not, walking is good for you.....all the exercise you've been doing is good for you.

    2.All of what you are doing is building self-discipline sweetheart...which in my opinion is also a good thing.

    3. Try to keep your expectations of yourself realistic, and remember, "Do not detest these small beginnings" Zech. 4:10.

    4.I love and admire you. mama

  6. I just have to say - you have the sweetest mom!

    Be easy on yourself. We all think you're great. Since I've kind of been in a chanty-protesty mood lately, I could start a rally cry here.

    Stephanie! Be kind to yourself! Stephanie! Be kind to yourself!

    Hey hey! Ho ho! Negative thoughts have got to go!

    Show me what being cool looks like. Stephanie is what being cool looks like!

  7. I have working out hard core ( for me anyway) and haven't dropped any inches or much for pounds. I lose two, gain three and can't seem to go anywhere. However, I am stronger, more flexible, and don't wet myself when I run around with the kids. Sooo, changes are happening, not just visible ones. I get very discouraged at times. I want to be healthy, but some visible results would be nice too.

    You are doing awesome! Jillian Michaels say a that we don't need any equipment. We just need to shake what our Momma's gave us. You always inspire me with your workouts and commitment to them. You rock Steph!

    Love, jolee

  8. hi cousin,

    my two cents...totally disagree with nasty treadmill lady. fresh air and time with your baby is so much better than a stinky gym and walking like a lab rat on a conveyer (sp?)belt. you can so do intervals outside. set small goals like run to the next light post or stop sign. walk until you regulate your breathing and repeat. my biggest tip with eating is write down everything you eat all day and share it with a friend who is doing the same. very motivating.
    xoxo, cousintine

  9. My mom is super sweet, isn't she? Thanks mom. (she just called me, too. xoxo)

    Teresa, you made me laugh so hard! :) thank you.

    Jolee, you are doing awesome, too! I'm so in awe of your running. :) We need to talk soon. I like that quote from Jillian. thanks.

    Sarah - thank you, too. love you.


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