weight: lifted

I was in such a bad mood yesterday afternoon.  It surprised me as we had a pretty good day.  Nicholas and I went to the thrift store yesterday morning and found some fun stuff.  We all had a nice lunch after school and went baby went down for his nap, Ruby and I had a good time drawing together.  And then, BAM, the bad mood struck.

Maybe it was Patrick calling and saying his car was having big time trouble after we had just had the van in and out of the shop on Monday for a pricey repair?  Maybe I was worried because we also just committed to adding a fence around our back patio and it isn't cheap?  Maybe it was the weather?  Maybe it was Nicholas screeching at me all day?  (He goes in and out of screechy phases and he is IN one.  sigh.  they are hard.  I am always so amazed at his good nature after they pass.)  Maybe it's not having had a full night of sleep in over a year?  (a good night, when he wakes up only once, is still not a full night.)

It might have been partially due to all of that.  But when I laid down in bed and started to talk with Patrick, the only thing that came out was that I am bored and I feel so guilty about that.

I felt this way at the end of winter and thought it was mainly due to the weather.  I still think that is playing a big part because after nearly 2 weeks of cold and crappy weather, it's back. 

In my head I think that next year will be better.  Ruby will be at kindergarten and Nicholas is the only child that will remain home with me all day.  He will still be pretty young and have a very different set of needs than an older child.  I won't have the 11:30 and 3:30 deadlines breaking up my every day and can just work around one afternoon nap.  That all sounds like a vacation to me. 

I think every person out there gets bored with their job once in a while and I suppose I am no different.  It just makes me feel so bad because my job is my kids and how horrible does it sound to say I am bored here with them?  Probably pretty horrible but it's true.

I still think that I will feel better (um, today) when we can be outside and back to doing all the outdoor stuff that we love.  We will have to see.  Patrick was so sweet to me and was totally open to some of the ideas I came up with in case this doesn't go away. 

As soon as I told him what I was really feeling I felt so much better.  I was so afraid of him thinking I was ungrateful for this chance to be home with our kids.  I have been nothing but grateful for the last 7.5 years and he knows that.  I explained that it's not specifically being with any of the children...it's just being HERE all day.  Which is also odd because I love being home and doing stuff around my house.  It all just feels slightly uncomfortable sometimes, like I am wearing a scratchy sweater.

I know someone (MOM) will wonder if I am depressed and I really don't think so.  I don't feel sad or particularly irritable.  I feel bored.  I didn't feel bored 2 weeks ago when it was sunny and nice out.  I did feel bored at the end of February when it was still gloomy and cold.  I woke up in a good mood today, happy to see the sun.  I didn't take my vitamin D all winter and wonder if that was a big mistake.

I have a feeling that this will all pass as we move into summer and I could have saved myself some typing time by keeping it to myself.  I guess I am only sharing because it felt so good to me to say it out loud and to have Patrick hear me.  Maybe someone else has felt this way at some point?  Maybe it's normal.  :)

My house is waking up now so I need to go.

Enjoy your Friday!

xoxo

I know it wasn't the best idea

to eat my weight in baby goldfish crackers this afternoon but there really seemed no other option. 

I suppose there was another option, the bakery, but the goldfish were closer and seemed much less harmless.  They are so tiny and unassuming, baby goldfish crackers.  It looks like I'll be having scrambled egg whites for dinner.  (not such a bad thing.)

I hate to complain about the weather but I must.  It is getting to me.  I am feeling the same mind-numbing boredom that I felt at the tail end of winter.  I am totally bored with my house and being in my house with my children.  At least some of them went back to school this week!

I know I sound all doom and gloomy but I'm not in real life.  Just in my head.  And here, which is why I haven't been here much.  You're welcome.  :)  I can't fake it here, you see, and moaning about the uncontrollable isn't good for anyone.

The good things:  lots of good workouts this week, a new sports bra that is Amazing, good nights of sleep, baby pickle breath,

and

that's about it.

Tomorrow we should see the sun!  And then maybe again on Sunday?  Here's hoping.

Also, my prayers are with those down south.  Some drizzle and cold temperatures is nothing compared to losing a home or a life.  I know that. 

xoxo

marching through april

My little pickles is just walking, walking, walking.  He still usually has both arms up in the air like a tiny baby zombie but is getting so much steadier.  He is also perfecting standing up without assistance.  So cute.  xoxo

exploring (and an egg head)

*****************************************

I have to admit something.  I am not so into the blogging lately. 

I am not going to try and fake it.  If the inspiration comes, I'll let it.  If it doesn't, I'll keep (mostly) quiet.  Sound good?  :)

Up above are some pictures from Easter afternoon.  We spent a little time exploring a property that my sister and her husband were curious about.  The house itself isn't pictured...these buildings were all in the backyard.  It was like a vintage playground.  Loved it.

xoxo

sugar monster

We had a wonderful Easter even though Ruby looks like she is about to throw up in this picture.  Maybe she was?  She did eat an awful lot of chocolate before church.

The big news this weekend was this:  My brother is getting married!!  Hooray!  He popped the question while he & Erin were in Seattle over the weekend.  How sweet!  We are all soooo happy for them.  Yay! 

I am struggling today with sugar cravings.  It is CLEAR to me that eating a lot of sugar (i.e.: an entire Godiva salted caramel chocolate bar) makes you want MORE SUGAR.  Back to reality, body!  I am hoping tomorrow will be better.  (that pineapple cupcake I had for breakfast didn't help, I'm sure.  :)  )

My mom had to leave unexpectedly this afternoon and that was a bummer.  It was so fun to have her here.  We miss you!

We had a beautiful day today and it was so good to be outside again.  Yesterday was pretty nice, too.  We had a LOT of fun yesterday afternoon. 

Tomorrow is back to school for the kiddos.  I might miss them for 30 seconds or so but am also looking forward to a little bit of quiet.  Now to just get pickles back to his old nap schedule?  Not likely.  We shall see.  It won't be for lack of trying.

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend and Easter.  And Monday! 

xoxo

bring it on

Here we are at Friday already!  whew.  made it. ;)  We had a really good week even though my kids thought it was a little boring.  Kinda fun, kinda boring, they said.  I concur.  :)  (but I base "a really good week" more on that we didn't kill each other or even fight that much.)  We never made it to the zoo as pickles took a FOUR hour nap yesterday.  He must have been catching up from the day before.  It was all good though, because the kids played outside with friends all afternoon.

The crappy weather is back today and we are going to the grocery store.  Finally.  We had nachos for dinner last night.  with crystal light.  Can you say OUT OF FOOD?

I wish you all a very Happy Easter!  I wish I had something spiritually uplifting to say about Easter but I haven't even given myself time to process it yet.

My cousin posted about a site going live soon that will help you be accountable for how much time you spend reading the Bible.  Sign me up!

I did a hard workout yesterday (the shred, level 2) and my shoulders are aching today.  YES!  I have been missing the day-after-ache lately and know that not having it is not good news for me.  It means I need to work out harder.  My goal is to hurt like a (insert favorite curse word here - I would choose mofo) after every workout.  ;)

xoxo

day 4

J:  Mama, Ruby pushed me!
S:  I don't care.
J:  WHAT??


heehee.  4th day of spring break and all is good in the hood.  We had a fun trip to the mall yesterday (I've only ever said that once or twice before), made a quick trip through Whole Foods, and then joined Patrick for a late dinner at Roman Candle in Fitchburg.  The service and the baby were awful, the food, delicious.  I told Patrick earlier that it was too late for Nicholas and I would only go if he'd be responsible for him.  He agreed and ended up leaving after about a half an hour.  :)  He had his pizza with him so it was no big deal.

Today the sun is shining and I just got a happy quote from a contractor.  Baby needs his nap and I need to work off that pizza I ate last night.  (but I did have a large spinach salad first so only 2 pieces of cheese pizza satisfied me.)  (Well, maybe not completely satisfied me.  My belly was full but my mouth could have had a lot more.  :)  )

We might go to the zoo later or just go for a walk somewhere.  The kids had cold pizza for breakfast and might be having it again for lunch.  ha!  I really need groceries!  (The whole foods trip was just for hamburger and chicken.)

xoxo

OH YEAH.  I would have slept in until 8:30 this morning, I'm quite certain, if I hadn't received a phone call at 8:16.  (ahem.)

xoxo

beware the gint snake

Today we slept in until 8:20!  I am nervous about how hard next week will be after this snoozefest we are having.  :)

Well, today I weighed myself (I do every Wednesday) and saw that I only lost a pound this week...was the same as I was last Friday.  My first instinct was boo but I talked myself into yay!  Remember that cake?  Remember real life?  Yeah, that happens sometimes.  And I still LOST a pound, not gained one, so that is a victory!  My total lbs. lost is 13.  I'm hoping to be at 16 by May 4th and then 23 down by June 1st.  Could that really happen?  Could I lose 23 pounds???  We shall see.  Who knows what stands between myself and June 1st.  :) 

James brainstormed the list above in anticipation of playing Scribblenauts some day.  He doesn't have a DS but one of Patrick's friends does, which is how he heard about the game.  I guess you type in things from your own imagination in order to get past (or defeat) the bad guy in the game.  So if you type in gint snake a GINT (giant) snake will appear and then the bad guy will grab a cage maybe to contain your snake and then you have to quickly think what could get your snake out of the cage and type that in.  It sounds like a really cool game and I loved his list.  I think my favorites are "Do not atak me" sine (sign) and the gint toylit.  ;)

My Nicholas seems to be ready for his nap already.  Also - we are getting out of the house today!  Yay!

xoxo

ay yi yi*

I don't mind the crappy weather so much this week.  It's giving us a chance to just be here and be together and it's been pretty nice. 

(I say that knowing that it will probably be nice out on Thursday so we can be outside and that we are going to Chuck E. Cheese on Friday with friends.  :) )

But really, it's kind of cozy in the house today.  We all slept in until 8 and I haven't even had my coffee yet.  (that is next on the list)  Ruby seems better today but was up coughing a lot last night.

I am thinking a walking workout is on deck for me today. I've been working my arms pretty hard the last 3 days and when I pick up my weights they feel soooo heavy.  I think they need a day of rest.

Nicholas is here now, circling me like a baby shark.

xoxo

*says my seester

one year, one weekend

Nicholas had a very happy birthday.  He loved his balloons and cake and his new dump truck.  He was extra adorable all day and didn't seem to mind Patrick and I staring at him constantly. 

***************************************************

We had a great weekend.  I ate a lot of cake (but not too much) and Patrick and I had afternoon coffee both days.  (we love afternoon coffee)  Patrick asked me if I wanted to work outside on Sunday (I checked, he didn't have a fever) and after the baby went down for his afternoon nap we all went out for about 3 hours.  Chilly and windy but sunny.  A perfect day for flying kites and hauling rocks.

The low point of the weekend was James on Sunday morning.  He is such a pill about going to church every week (even though he always has fun once he's there) and every week it still catches me off guard.  I fined him cash dollars this week and that seemed to stop the complaining quicker than other things. 

Saturday could have gone badly but after Patrick got up I locked myself in our bedroom for a few hours.  I watched tv, read my book, folded some laundry and exercised.  It was wonderful.  He took the big kids bowling and out for lunch so after Nicholas woke up, I still had a quiet house.  I put on Eat, Pray, Love and OH MY GOSH, what a snooze fest.  I didn't like that book but I thought maybe Julia Roberts would make the movie good.  Wrong.  What a boring movie.  I shut it off about 15 minutes into India.  Lame.  After everyone got home we had cake and let pickles open his presents.  So cute.  He stuck one finger tentatively in the frosting at first but went whole hog a minute later.  He likes his cake.  (just like his mama.)

I went shopping with Wendy for a little while that night which was very fun, too.  I got Nicholas the cutest mini pair of sandals.  And a cute pair for myself.  (these from Payless.)

James let the school secretary pull his other tooth out last week so now he looks like this:

just a normal kid who lost his teeth!

Spring Break is this week and Ruby woke up with a bad cough.  Bummer.  :(  Some Mucinex has seemed to help a little.  The weather looks crappy for most of the week but I am still counting on us having a fun week together.  (but I told Patrick there might be some afternoon phone calls...:)  )

Time for me to go shower and EAT.  BIG MOUTH HUNGRY.

xoxo

inspiring

I was flipping through a (non-fitness) magazine yesterday and saw some sort of add with two women running up some stairs.  It totally inspired me to get up and exercise.  Like, I can do that!  It sounds crazy but I really felt a tiny surge of happiness.  I think I might make myself a collage of these images.  Might not be a bad thing to have around when the tough days hit.

I did exercise on Wednesday but just didn't feel like blogging yesterday.  Wednesday night I bought The Biggest Loser Last Chance workout with Jillian and I really liked it.  I'm looking forward to doing it again later.  (or rather, doing part of it later.)  (Sybil has another great post about workout DVDS here.)

My baby is one tomorrow.  Wow.  He has a cold (not teeth) and is kind of crabby today.  I hope he feels better tomorrow.  It is super windy and icky today but we might venture out of our nest later for some balloons.  Nicholas LOVES balloons so he has to have some for his big day.  (mylar, so he can really play with it.)  I also got him a big dump truck that he lunged for at Target the other day and a small inflatable pool.  Heidi found him a swing for our swingset and gave it to him for his birthday!  Very sweet.

I am a little teary when I think about this past year.  I am mostly so incredibly grateful for this new boy and our family as a whole.  It seems crazy that he is one already but also the year seemed so very full to me.  I really feel like I felt and enjoyed so much of it, so many single little moments of him and us, that it doesn't feel like it went by too fast.  It feels like it was just right.  So thankful.

Contributing to the teary factor is Ruby.  She had her "check out kindergarten" night last night.  :(  My little Ruby!  At kindergarten!  I'm not sure I can share her.

(Well, yes I am and I will but it will be a huge adjustment for me.)

I am sensitive and a little touchy this week but have only had my feelings hurt a couple times and am not letting myself dwell on the incidents.

When I mentioned PMS (and the oreos) last week someone dear to me texted that I should get that IUD Mirena.  I asked if there were side effects and she said, "Only being too sexy!"  (or something like that.)  hahahhaa.  Sign me up!  :)  Actually, weight gain can be a side effect for some people and I just know it would be for me.  That would suck!  I think I am fine just dealing with a little pms and a little extra chocolate.  We shall see, though.

Pickles is upstairs calling for me.  This probably means that he pooped.  Since he is one tomorrow can I put his hot and cozy shabby chic baby blanket into his crib with him??

Have a good weekend, dears.  xoxo

this post doesn't really get started until the end

Not a lot to report on today.  We've had 2 more days of beautiful weather which has been SUPER awesome.  Ruby and I had a really nice time together yesterday and I felt really happy that she was next to me, digging for worms.

I am thinking we'll do a container garden again this year.  What the heck, right?  It was fun last time and will probably stop me from starting a bigger project (garden) that I can't possibly keep up with this year.  I wanted to go get seeds this afternoon but stopped myself because Nicholas & I were already in Madison this morning.

Speaking of baby, he has a runny nose again today.  Maybe those 2 bottom teeth he's been waiting on are finally going to appear?  Hope so.

Last night the kids had so much fun playing outside.  Patrick decided it was a good night for a fire so he lit one around 7.  I came out after the baby went down and it felt so good to sit there.  It was a long winter.  (but I heard snow this weekend????  WTH?)

Finally, here is a picture of Nicholas helping me the other day.

See all his little dishes down there?  He is so helpful.

xoxo

p.s.  My mom was telling me yesterday about all the yummy stuff she's been bringing to work for lunch.  Mini pepperonis, string cheese, olives, baby pickles, cherry tomatoes...yum!  Did you mention cottage cheese, Mom?  Because I totally bought some today and I wasn't even sure why.  It was good, though.  :)  I had it stirred up with tuna fish, chopped pickles, some mustard and s&p.  Served with saltines, it was really good.  (but strange, I must admit.)

xoxo

oh wait!  I did the 30 day shred again yesterday and kicked some ASS.  (ha.  kidding.)  It did go well though, but those jumping jacks are not kind to the breasts.  Bra suggestions again, anyone?  (will check out fleet feet when I get back over there.  bought some socks there last week and thought it was a great store!)

oh one more thing.  I did the workout with my 3 pound weights (I normally use 5 or 10lb now) because I was too LAZY to walk upstairs and get the other ones.  HAHAHAHAHHAA.  How's that for phoning it in, JIllian?!

xoxo (for real)

visions of normalcy

I had a vision of myself outside this morning.  Pickles would be napping and I would be out by myself in the sunshine, spreading some mulch on my one cleared out bed, planting a few bulbs and hauling a few buckets of rocks.  It was a lovely vision and Ruby had to go and screw it up!  :)  It still will happen but I will have a little sidekick to show me bugs and scream, "My belly hurts!" every few minutes.   (She is better today but not back-to-school better.)  (I got her some pull ups last night for bedtime and so we could leave the house later today.  Poor thing...it happens so fast sometimes.  I hope the worst of that is over.)

Yesterday was a long ass day, friends.  I was at my limit by the time Patrick got home and yelled at him for something he did a few weeks ago.  Haha, he loves when I do that.  (he had parked too close to where I back the van out of the garage and I nearly ran into his car.  duh!!)  Then I went to the grocery store for some Pedialyte and a candy bar (3 musketeers truffle bar?  170 calories and pretty yummy) and felt better by the time I got back.  Patrick wasn't hating on me for hating on him...he knew I was just lashing out due to exhaustion and my kids (James) putting me through the wringer yesterday afternoon.  He was being SUCH a pill but I held it together so well.  Well, except for when I dragged him down to the basement but he couldn't see the look on my face so I don't think that counts.  Right?  Right.  (He was not listening or moving on his own so I had to move him myself.  He is heavy!  Little rat.)  He stayed down there for over an hour because he refused to clean up the lower level.  That was his consequence for being rotten when I said it was time to do his reading.  Not just protesting but truly being rotten.  I am torn because I like him to have some time to chill after school but he is such a rat then when it's time to do the homework.  Today I am trying homework right when he gets home and see how that goes.  (And he had had a big snack so I know he wasn't hungry.)

So add the James drama along with the Ruby poopy drama and it was a looooong day.  Nicholas was perfect, though.  Very cute, slept a lot and smelled delicious.  Ruby slept all night and pickles only got up once so I got some rest, too.  Today is better already!  (Patrick gave Nicholas a shower last night and now he smells so clean.  I hate that.  Now I have to wait another day or so for that delicious pickle smell to come back.)

I am still working out.  Yesterday I did an on demand Pilates workout that was pretty good but I am kind of addicted to the cardio/strength combo now.  I've really noticed how that 30 days of cardio (walking) really upped my endurance.  I can do the workouts I try now the whole way through.  I might not be able to do all of the exercises (hello push ups, I'm looking at you) but I just substitute in something I can do and join them when I can.  (I always try the push ups.  I can do about 3 with good form.)  I really love Joy Bauer.  Her workouts make me sweat so much!  I put her on the same level as Jackie Warner for difficulty.  I just wish all workouts were 30 minutes.  (you know, if everything was created to meet my needs.)  :)

And now some pictures for my readers who don't really like to read all of my blah, blah, blah.  (aka thomas)  :)

I think he needs a haircut but Patrick says no.

 This lunch was delicious and filling.  (scrambled egg beaters, refried beans, avocado and canned tomatoes.)  YUM.

 Just the poppers.

xoxo

mr. pickles and the chair

I got him this little rocker toy at the dig a while back. He can get on and off all by himself and sometimes stands on the seat. :\

Here is the chair.  I love it.

Oh look!  Here is my baby again.

Love his little fingers.  kiss kiss.

xoxo

I am wondering

what I put in the dryer that is banging around so much?  Surely not a child!  I hope not.

:)

My house is totally quiet and will remain so for maybe 5 more minutes.  Ruby is sleeping off a rough one and pickles is sleeping off a cute one.

Poor Ruby.  She came down with a whirlwind stomach virus at around 2:48am.  :(  I hope she feels better as the day goes on. 

Mr. Pickles is just the cutest thing.  I should save any sap for this Saturday, his first birthday, but I don't want to ever forget how perfectly mucky he's been these last few nights at bedtime.  Especially last night as we added sweaty to the mucky!  OH!  Kill me now.  Too much cute.

I put him down early last night as he only had one nap and was doing his tired cry.  When I asked if he wanted milk and night-night he all but howled and crawled right up the stairs.  So I nursed him and rocked him and sang and played peek-a-boo and kissed him right on his soft open lips about 100 times.  Then I laid him down and left the room.  He played a bit and started whining.  I went in, hugged him, he laid down, I patted him and left.  Repeat.  Repeat.  The fourth time he laid down and rolled over, sticking his butt right up in the air.  I leaned down and asked him if he had poopies.  He barked.  (he barks a lot.  we love it.)  So I changed him, we went down to let James in who was returning ahead of Patrick & Ruby from a bike ride, and then I laid him back down.  And he slept.  Little buddy.

Of course he woke up to nurse right after Ruby finally fell asleep - maybe around 4am?  I am feeling okay now but I'm sure the tired will hit later.  Maybe not as much if the sun keeps shining?

What a beautiful and busy weekend!  We packed a lot in - errands, McKee Farms, Noodles, yard work, church, Frautschi Point woods, a picnic lunch, more errands a walk, a bike ride.  Non-stop.  It was a really good weekend but Patrick and I almost came to blows over the yard work.  I said we should sell our house and buy a condo if he didn't want to help keep the yard up.  He said okay but wondered where the kids would live.  :)  haha.  Being back by Eagle Heights on campus reminded us of our kid-less days. 

He finally helped outside and then ended up pulling everything out of the garage and sweeping and hosing it down.  For some reason he loves to do that job.  He is special.  I pulled a butt muscle but not my butt crack muscle, like James was worried about.

Wow.  I've had more quiet than I figured I would.  I hear Ruby getting dressed now so I better go.  Have a lovely Monday. 

Is that even possible?  ;)

xoxo

bam!

That was the sound of me totally hitting a wall yesterday afternoon.  Shortly after I posted, exhaustion hit.  The baby wouldn't nap and I couldn't believe how tired I was.  In a weak moment, I reached for the oreos.  The first one didn't taste very good but a few minutes later, I took another.  And another, and another.  And another.  Yes, I ate 5 oreos before dinner.  Then I ate 2 servings of the delicious chuck roast I had braised in beer all afternoon.  Then I regretted that I had put our last 2 beers in the OVEN when I really could have used one.  Then Patrick came home and I went to bed.  Luckily the baby slept well, only waking once at 3:30 to nurse, because I needed that sleep.

Welcome to the land of PMS!  :)

I am feeling so much better right now (am slightly worried about later) and am not even beating myself up about yesterday.  It was my first big blowout in 3 weeks and trust me, it could have been a lot worse.  (I was sorely tempted to call Patrick and have him bring home a dozen Krispy Kremes.)  I vowed to be gentle with myself this week and I'm going to be.  That doesn't mean I'll be eating any more oreos (yuck) but surely something else, something more satisfying, is on the menu for later.  (I'm thinking a small bag of m&ms.)  I'm eating lots of protein and drinking lots of water so hopefully I'll stay on top of my cravings today.  We'll see.  :)

My baby pickles is still taking lots of steps.  Something else he does that I love, even though it scares me, is this:  If he is upset and I am trying to pat him or something to comfort him he will just PUSH my hand away.  Like, "don't touch me!!!"  I admire his pissiness but do fear for how it might manifest later in life.  (like toddler-hood.)

Ruby was just telling me that our neighbor requested that Ruby call her this morning, I could help with the dialing, to see if it was time to come over and play.  I asked Ruby if she was lying.  She said that no, even though her face might look funny, she definitely was not lying.  I asked her if I should call Rachel and double check this story.  She said for me to go ahead.  If Rachel said she didn't say that then that just meant that Rachel had forgotten.

Nice.  My 4 year old (nearly 5) is learning to lie and to explain away the outward signs of lying.

James is feeling pretty fine, starting to enjoy his new-found fame.  Everyone wants to see his mouth and hear what happened, he said.  He read all of your comments yesterday and made a really sweet (sappy) smile afterwards.  Thank you for your kind words.  :) 

I have to go now and start encouraging Nicholas to go down for his nap.  A little Benadryl usually does the trick. 

kidding!

xoxo

p.s.  it's only because I love you that I told you how many oreos I ate.  xoxo

p.p.s.  unrelated ruby & pickles picture:

down to one

A friend took Ruby home for the afternoon after preschool yesterday so Nicholas and I were as free as a pair of birds.  We headed out early and got back just in time to save James from the bus line.  (he was so happy!)  We did some thrifting, met Patrick for lunch, did a little more thrifting and went for a walk.  Such a fun day with no one talking to me every minute.  Love a little break like that.  :) 

I got a ton of stuff at the dig - 1/2 price clothes day - including a faded red wrap around Old Navy skirt that I love.  Oh, and an ADORABLE vintage chair that I'll show you soon. 

I am sorry about the terrifying blue tint to most of these pictures.  I had the camera on some strange setting.

Oh - speaking of the camera - I forced the lens shut last weekend at Devil's Lake and something seemed to click back to where it was supposed to go!  Who knows how long it will last but I am super thankful.  To go from a crooked, stuck open zoom lens to working fine?  A. mazing. 

((sweet note to self:  James asked me how much allowance he had coming last week.  I asked what he was saving up for now and he said a new camera for me.  ohhhhhhhh.  Did you hear my heart melt?  I told him he didn't have to do that - it was an accident - and he said he knew that but wanted to.  He knows how important my camera is to me.  xoxo))

Speaking of James, he will be home any minute.  Dinner is finished (beer braised beef) so I have a nice & easy afternoon ahead of me.  Sounds good because I am tired.  Too much tv last night.  Extreme Couponers on TLC!!!!!  Watch out.  I may have a new hobby.  ;)

xoxo

ouch (warning: gross picture)

My poor James.  He was nervous about going to school yesterday morning because he thought kids would laugh at him.  His teacher made sure he knew how worried all of his classmates were...it was sweet.  (only one boy from another class laughed.  little rat.  ;)  ) 

After school yesterday:

S:  Did you see the boy you collided with at recess?
J:  Yeah.  He...
R:  (interrupting from the back seat)  Did he have your tooth stickin' out of his head?
S:  (I couldn't help it...I burst out laughing)  HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAa.
J:  ha ha. 

(Patrick and I have been noticing lately that Ruby is pretty quick-witted.)

xoxo

when boys collide

James had a head on collision with another little boy at school yesterday.  I got called to school a little after noon and when I saw James I was shocked.  One of his front teeth was knocked clear out of his head.  The other one is super loose and the dentist thinks it will be out in the next few days.  Thank God these are his baby teeth!  My poor buddy.  His gums look awful...all purple with blood blisters above some of his other teeth.  He feels fine, though.  Didn't even want any Tylenol.  The other little boy was fine, too.  No stitches thankfully.  yikes!

The dentist said that even though those teeth hadn't felt loose to James yet, they would have been before too long.  They probably came out easier than his permanent teeth would have.

When I can look at him without wanting to cry, he looks hilarious.  Kind of like a hillbilly or a convict.  He isn't ready to share pictures yet but I'll post one when (if) he is. 

I had so much adrenaline running while I got the kids up to go to school and then came home, called the dentist and loaded us all back up again.  It's scary when your kids get hurt.  Thank God it wasn't any worse.  And, as James said, thank God it wasn't his brain.  :)

xoxo

snacky snack snack

I wanted to show you what a snacky day looks like for me. I've been nibbling all day. I didn't feel full this morning until after the eggs and had to grab stuff to go for a quick lunch in the van. The almonds were whole almonds instead of the slices listed...it was all I found in the food data on sparkpeople...but the calories were the same.

I am finally feeling normal again but now have to cram in lots of veggies this afternoon/evening as I've eaten lots of processed food all day. For dinner I will have brown rice, cooked lentils, steamed zucchini and asparagus with salsa. For a snack I'll have baby carrots, cucumbers and cherry tomatoes. Before bed I'll have an ice cream bar. That's a lot of food, eh?  I'll probably end the day around 1500 calories, well within my suggested range.  (unless I come downstairs after 10pm.......)

Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Breakfast
	Calories	Fat	Carbohydrates	Protein	Fiber, total dietary
sunbutter balls, 1 serving	98	5	14	2	2
Dannon DanActive Blueberry Drink, 3.3 oz., 1 serving	90	2	17	3	0
Half and Half Cream, 3 tbsp	59	5	2	1	0
Granulated Sugar, 1 tsp	16	0	4	0	0
Better 'n' Eggs egg substitute, 0.5 cup	60	0	2	12	0
Laughing Cow Light Creamy Swiss Original Cheese (Serving = 1 wedge), 1 serving	35	2	1	3	0
	358	13	40	21	2
Lunch
	Calories	Fat	Carbohydrates	Protein	Fiber, total dietary
Whole Wheat Hard Pretzels, 1 oz	103	1	23	3	2
Laughing Cow Mini Babybel Mild Cheddar 1 round, 1 serving	70	5	1	5	0
Almond Accents Butter Toffee Glazed, 14 gram	80	6	4	2	2
	253	12	28	10	4
Dinner
	Calories	Fat	Carbohydrates	Protein	Fiber, total dietary
None
Snack
	Calories	Fat	Carbohydrates	Protein	Fiber, total dietary
Natural Sunbutter, 0.5 serving	100	8	4	4	2
Arnold Whole Wheat Bagel Thin, 1 serving	110	1	24	6	5
chocolate crunch Quaker rice cake, 1 serving	60	1	0	1	0
Cheddar Goldfish (55 pieces), 1 serving	140	5	20	4	1
	410	15	48	15	8
	1,021	40	115	46	14
	1420 - 1770	37 - 65	188 - 271	60 - 146	25 - 35

I would like to tell you about our afternoon but I can't quite yet. Let's just say that the tooth fairy will be quite unexpectedly visiting our house tonight...even though there is no tooth to put under the pillow.  :(

xoxo

sometimes I feel like seventy is nipping at my heels

Did you guys see my new header?  It's a section of that lovely tray my mom gave me in January.  Thanks, Mom.  I still love it.

Oh yeah, not too long ago Ruby told me she thought she'd be happier living with my mom.  Oh, really? I said.  Yes, she said.  I told her I would try to arrange that.  ;)

I am having a hungry day.  I have them sometimes, hungry days.  I am half way trying to keep track of these sorts of things and this is what I've noticed:

• I have hungry days after a night of not much sleep
• If I stay up past 10pm and then come downstairs...I want a snack

Okay, I guess that's all of my observations for today.  Two is enough, isn't it?  Okay, okay.  I know eight is enough but two will have to do for today.  (loved Kristy McNichol.)

My goals for April (in case you were wondering) are as follows:

1. exercise at least 5 days a week, preferably 6
2. no blogging unless I've exercised the previous day (because sometimes I like to exercise at night and I couldn't blog all day if the old "no blogging until after exercise" was still my rule.)
3. Focus on my arms.  Specifically, do arm exercises 3 days a week.  (MWF)
4. Work on jogging.  I have ran some intervals twice now and it is much better with my new shoes and a much slower pace.  James' class has to run for a solid 9 minutes by the end of the school year so that is my goal, too.  (I would also still like to do a 5K with Kari but will probably walk most of it.)  (am okay with that.)
5. lose 3.5 more pounds (already lost 2 of them so this should be do-able unless I totally derail and visit the new Krispy Kreme with a fistful of dollars and an empty wagon.)

The 3.5lb loss would bring me to my first goal:  10 lbs gone!  I am already 2lb down from last week so I should be able to do this.  I am fully enjoying these early days of this being pretty easy.  I know there are plateaus and cravings lurking around every week so I'm relishing these early successes.  They keep me going, you know?  I also know that exercising has a huge role in all of this.  I feel like I love my body right now.  Not so much how all of it looks but more what we are doing together...it and I.  (how's that for sappy?)  (this is another post to reference when I am in the throes of bloating and chocolate in another week or so.)

I don't think I said this here.  Ultimately, I'd like to lose 40 pounds.  Crazy to think that I am almost 1/4 of the way there.  How did that happen?  Anyways.  This is my theory about this.  I am not in a race to lose this weight.  I'd like to do it slowly over the next year.  I know there will be times I go off track and gain some back.  I just am hoping and praying that this is "in" me enough now to get back to it.  I want to lose weight to look better, sure.  But mainly?  I have this deep fear of not being around for my kids as long as I'd like.  I know I can't prevent cancer or the other awful things that happen to us but I know exercising and eating right plays an important role in a long and healthy life.  I have a ONE year old and I am nearly 40.  I will be SEVENTY when he is only 30.  I want to be the best 70 that I can be.

Also?  I want to have lots of good times with Patrick after our kids move out.  :)

I am tempted to go into my unhealthy habits of my youth (cough smoking cough) but am running out of steam.  Did I mention I am hungry today?

I have to wrap this up and jump in the shower.  Nicholas (my not quite one year old baby) had a big day yesterday.  He started taking 5-6-7 steps at a time and did it all day long.  We are so proud of him and I totally love to see his little body lurching towards me.

xoxo

debbil's lake

xoxo

(insert post title here)

R:  Mom, those little girls down there speak English, Spanish and Chinese.
S:  Really?  That is neat, isn't it?
R:  Yeah.  We just speak human right???
******************************

R:  Mom, can you tell me how to write, "I promise that next time I go to Lisa's I won't be scared and you can send me to Lisa's again because I won't be scared anymore when you go out of town"?
S:  Um, how about, "I love you, mom" instead.
R:  (considers this)  Okay.  That'll do for now.
 *******************************
 R:  (sobbing)  Mom!  [a neighbor girl] spanked me on the butt so hard with that long stick!!
S:  Oh, Ruby.  What was going on?
R:  I have no idea but I made a good decision not to hit her hard!
*******************************
R:  Can we go to Ashton's house?
S:  No, we don't have the van today.
R:  We can walk!
S:  Ruby.  He lives like 5 miles away.
R:  Well, you're the one who likes walkin' so much!

***********************************************************

Happy Friday everyone!  I always feel dumb after I blog about something I'm proud of myself for.  I always worry I sound braggy or something so I really hope I didn't. 

I was trying to think of a really good April Fools joke for today but it just seemed like too much work.  Sorry. 

My cousin offered me a job cooking for her in return for child care so I will be heading up to Duluth later today.  I hope you're ready for us, Rach!  :) 

Have a good weekend!  We are planning to take advantage of the one nice day (tomorrow) and head up to Devil's Lake for our first visit of the season.  With the metal detector!  fun.  xoxo