Tuesday, July 31, 2012
So, how are you? I am good. Yesterday I told someone that something they had done made me feel bad and you know what? That made me feel really good! They also responded as I had hoped they would (with an apology) so that felt good, too. When I come to those little points in life where I could say something or not say something, I'm trying to say something. It's just better to put it out there, I think. It makes the relationship feel more real and what is better than that?
We are almost to Aug. 1. Wow. Last week I felt so over this whole summer thing. This week I feel better again. (sounds strikingly similar to last year.) I think my list helped. I am kind of anxious to get back to ebay more but I can wait another month. I am just not good at setting aside the time for it anymore. Like right now. I could be listing but I am blogging about not listing. :) I did have some sales over the weekend and have 8 packages that need to go out today.
The kids and I have been reading the Bible together most days. Nicky even says, "ME BIBLE!" and will climb up on the couch with us for a while. This started because we missed church last week and I felt bad about it. It's turned into something we are all enjoying and I hope we can keep up. James was even reading ahead at night until I took it away from him. (we are reading a children's Bible.) He said, "That is a good book, the Bible." HA! good book. hahahahhaa. It feels wrong to take a Bible away from your kid but he didn't want to sit and listen with us the next day, you know?
Nicky had a huge tantrum on Saturday night at our neighborhood party. I had pulled him out of one of those motorized cars and he was beside himself, he was so mad at me. He stood there in the driveway with his little back turned to me saying, "Go away! Go away!" Poor kid. It broke my heart. Then yesterday I had to scoop him up and leave the library because he wouldn't stop running down the aisles. (our library is small...running down the aisles is super disruptive.) I told James to come out and sit in the van with Nicky after I buckled him in his seat and told Ruby to wait there...I would be right back to get my books and out we went. When I turned around the Librarian (/my friend) was coming out with my stack of books. That was so sweet. It's not nearly as embarrassing for me dealing with these tantrums anymore. It's more like, "really? sigh." :)
Wendy and I ran yesterday and it was the usual "hard to start/slightly better to end" routine. We were so glad we did it, though. The last time we met we had walked and the time before that was intervals so we hadn't actually "ran" in a while. We admitted that we both laid in bed yesterday morning hoping that it was raining so we wouldn't have to go. :)
We had a good weekend! On Saturday morning we went to a little community fest in my friend Susan's town and then came home and went to our neighborhood party. Sunday night was a tie dye party...we met to dye shirts to wear to the Dirty Girl run. It was really fun...I want to dye more stuff. My shirt faded a lot but I do like how it turned out.
I cannot believe it is 8:30. The big kids are up now. I am hungry. Here is one more picture, taken on our way home from Devil's Lake last Friday:
I think I get my other phone back today or tomorrow. yay!
have a good day!! xooxo
Friday, July 27, 2012
gym shoes - james
gym shoes - nicky (just kidding)
new thermos bottles?
new freezer packs - small
small containers for lunch box - plastic
fax school forms to allergist/dr. for signatures once received
arrange meeting with james' teacher
get half pint stuff ready by aug 23 - me
get half pint stuff ready by aug 23 - wendy
find babysitter for thursday, sept 6 (half pint drop off - after school or sarah in morning just for nicky?)
find babysitter for oct. 26 (elle or patrick off?)
ask sarah about mon & fridays in fall (nicky)
schedule mammogram appt. (on a mon or fri?)
get backpacks/supplies ready to go before vacation
-don't forget two $5 checks for weekly reader
have food on hand to make lunches on first week
make/update list of school lunch ideas
get school calendar (days off, etc.) on my calendar for fall
boy scout meeting - aug 13
school board meeting - aug 13 (sitter until patrick gets home?)
steph dentist - aug 17
dirty girl - aug 18/19
leave for duluth - aug 24
return from duluth - sept 2
school starts - sept 4
Wow. I've got a lot to do. Especially the half pint stuff. (that is that children's sale that I did in April...the next one is sept 7.) I offered to prep some stuff for Wendy (for a percentage of the profit) so I've got some extra work to do. Nearly all of it is on hangers but it still needs to all be tagged. whew! I think I've got time, though. :)
I feel a lot better now that I have all of this down and I just made a couple of the appointments that I needed to. I'm going to print it out and stick it on the fridge, too. Have you started thinking about back to school yet? I don't have "buy clothes" on that list because I plan on doing a lot of shopping at the children's sale. I will get to shop early again (am volunteering) and hope to find a lot of basics for the kids there. I also have a lot for them in the basement so I need to go through that. It seems like it's so warm the first weeks that they usually wear summer stuff anyways. (except shoes)
My eldest was being quite the __________ earlier in the week but thankfully things have improved. We had a really fun day at the Children's Museum yesterday. James & Megan worked for quite a while on this house:
Also a couple more shots from what is now called THE COASTER OF DEATH:
Thanks for stopping by again. :) xoxoxo
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Things are good here. We got another rain storm last night/this morning which resulted in Nicky being up again but only for an hour. And then, THEN, he (and I) slept until 9:30. AMAZING. The big kids got up at 8:30 (super late for James) and watched Scooby Doo until we got up. It was so nice. We decided to skip swimming and are just laying around the living room. I am brewing coffee. Nicky is playing with cars. James and Ruby are still watching Scooby Doo. :) I promise I'm turning it off after my coffee.
We had a good weekend. James was kind of a pill on and off but what can you do? We did have a picnic dinner Friday night, bought school supplies and went out to dinner on Saturday night and I worked a lot on Sunday and took Ruby to get groceries while the boys worked on a "race car."
Friday, July 20, 2012
I'm so glad it's Friday.
This week was a lot for me. We start a new swim session on Monday and I got them in at 10:30 and 11:00 which I'm glad about. Getting done a bit earlier will make it easier to make afternoon plans and not worry as much about Nicky's nap or lack thereof.
Wendy and I met at the track last night and it was perfect weather for running. Cool and windy (windy on one half of the track, not on the other)...it felt so good. I started out slowly but was feeling really good at the halfway point and ended up doing 2.4 miles. I think I might have been able to do even more but felt fine stopping, too. I totally got the runner's high and was so happy and wide awake when I got home at 9pm. :) Those kinds of runs make up for the crappy/hot ones. I wish I could have them more often. Maybe in the fall?
I checked back on my blog and saw that I started the couch to 5k program on May 30th. I could barely run one minute then, less than 2 months ago. Last night I ran 33 minutes and felt good enough to speed up a little on and off. My lungs and breathing felt good. I don't know if I could chat with someone but I don't feel out of breath while I'm running. My legs don't specifically get tired like they used to...I mainly just start feeling all-around tired after a while. (or right away, depending on the day.) I read yesterday (number 28 on this list) that every pound you lose makes running a little bit easier. I haven't lost any more weight in the last week but I am keeping that in mind.
I started the week a hot mess. It was hard for me to share that here but I wanted to be honest about how I was feeling and all the feedback and kind words and shared experiences helped me sooooo much. Thank you. I am ending the week in a really good place. I can see the progress I've made and am so thankful for my stronger and healthier body.
You guys. It's so strange. I NEVER would have EVER seen myself doing this.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Last night there was a terrific thunder and rain storm and Nicky was up from 11pm-2am. Ruby was also up for a lot of it because she was in our bed and Nicky just WOULD NOT go to sleep. And I would threaten him and he would not stop and then I would put him in his crib and then it would thunder really loud again and he would cry out, "MOMMY! SCARED! OUTSIDE! LOUD!" and I would sigh and go get him and it would start over. It was crazy town but I was pretty much okay with it because it was so wonderful to have it rain. I think it's been 2 months or something. Except that is a lie and it wasn't pretty much okay because Ruby asked me this morning why I threw Nicky on the bed. HAHAHAHAHA! I didn't throw him, silly Ruby! I might have put him down a little harder than normal but I certainly didn't throw him. ahem.
James had a buddy over and I think they slept through most of it except his buddy did say he heard Nicky crying. (sorry, Heidi! Your kid might be tired today.) What a night!
I imported my instagram photos so I could have something to show you in this here post. (Thanks Sybil for the tip!)
Here's Ruby and Grandpa one morning while he was here: (we miss you, grandpa!)
I hope you are all having really wonderful weeks/days/months/lives.
p.s. thank you Jolee for your comment the other day. It made me laugh and feel better. :)
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
My friend Kari emailed me yesterday with some encouraging words and also a question...would I run a 5K with her in the fall? Of course I said yes. I had planned on running one in the fall just to keep myself going after the Dirty Girl but who knows if I would have actually done it after last weekend. Now that I am doing it with her, I know I will. Thanks, Kari. :)
The van is in the shop (yes, again) getting the A/C fixed so we are home today. It's super hot out anyways but it kind of sucks knowing you can't go anywhere, even if you wanted to. I should have it back tomorrow...oh, I hope so. (wednesday is babysitter day, remember?) The kids and I worked really hard all morning going through all the toys. I have a good size box to donate, threw a lot of crap away and set aside a pile for the kids sale in September. I put all the Duplo size Legos and all the vintage Little People stuff in the basement for a while. I plan on pulling them out again this fall when Nicky needs something new to play with. I also have our Thomas trains, Lincoln Logs and Playmobil stuff down there for "someday." I kind of like knowing it's down there. James and Ruby have their toys in their rooms so mostly all that is out in the living room is cars and trucks.
Was that the most boring paragraph EVER?
I think so.
I'll check back tomorrow.
Monday, July 16, 2012
I set a goal for myself and didn't make it. That doesn't feel so good. BUT, it's not the end of the world or the end of my running story.
I did feel really happy and excited before it started: (no eye make up...didn't want to risk it running. :) )
The race started with a fairly big hill and when the gun went off I just RAN. I never "run." I got swept up in it and had a side ache on my left side by the top of the hill even though I scaled back to walking after just a minute. At the top of the hill I started running again, this time at my normal pace, but I never lost my side ache. By the 30 minute mark I was hurting on both sides...it felt like someone was squeezing me really tight. I walked at that point for 2 minutes and then walked/ran the last 9 minutes. I seriously thought I was going to throw up while running the last 2 blocks down Main St. towards the finish line. I was just praying that I wouldn't puke at a 5K. How humiliating that would have been. As sick as I felt, I felt better within about 3 minutes after finishing...after I had walked around a bit and had some water. I think my final time was somewhere around 41 minutes but I am not sure. (results not posted yet.) Here we were a few minutes after finishing:
At the time though I just felt so glad to be done and really happy I had finished. I hadn't met my goal of running the whole time but when I called Patrick (we couldn't find a sitter so he stayed home with the kids) and told him what happened he told me it is really hard to recover from starting out wrong in such a "short" race. I don't know how he knows this as he's never run a race but it did make me feel better. :) We proceeded to the bar and drank for the next 4 hours, which was really fun. (see below)
I spent most of yesterday in bed. I wasn't puking sick but sooooo tired and dehydrated. After bringing me lots of water and making me a smoothie, Patrick took Ruby and Nicky out for the day and James let me sleep and just kind of hung out and did his own thing.
Last night we went and saw Magic Mike (pretty stupid but pretty funny, too) and when I got home I was feeling so sad. I talked with Patrick for a long time and finally went to bed at around 1:00am. I woke up today still feeling sad and I think I am mostly tired but it was also hard to finish last.
Instead of feeling good about what I did, like I have every other time I've ran the last 2 months, I feel like I sucked. Even though I KNOW I didn't, you know? It's hard to explain. I am just being hard on myself and I'm not even sure why. I am a slow runner. I might never be faster. If I decide to do more races I will need to shift my thinking or run a larger race where I will be less likely to finish last. :) (I think this one had around 50 runners? I'm not sure but it was pretty small. There were walkers so I wasn't the LAST last one but my friend and I were the last of the runners.) I'm having a hard time figuring out why I'm feeling this way and it will probably take me a couple days to process it...that's just how I am. I think it was just hard for me. If you asked me right now I would say probably no more 5ks in my future. I don't want to ruin running for myself. But then last night Patrick said he might want to run one and I said I might. :) who knows.
I know this was an accomplishment for me. A short time ago I had never ran before in my life and I just ran all but 6 minutes of a 5K. Why am I so hard on myself sometimes?
I don't want this to be a POOR ME post. I don't feel POOR ME, I guess I feel more baffled by these feelings and how they kind of came out of nowhere last night and wanted to be honest about them here. I have gotten nothing but awesome encouragement from my friends and family and it has been so helpful for me. Thank you!!!!
So that was my first 5k!
Friday, July 13, 2012
How are you? I am good. I came crashing down from my manic Wednesday morning high at about 8pm Wednesday night. My Dad got to town early and Patrick was going to have to work late, so we ended up coming home and having dinner here. It was really nice but I opened the chips while I was getting dinner ready and ate too many of them. I also had a beer. Then I had dinner and another beer. And more chips. Then I couldn't keep my eyes open and took at hour nap at 8pm. Then I woke up and texted Wendy that I probably couldn't run the next morning because I felt sick. (haha!) Then I went back to sleep. I woke up Thursday morning and realized I wasn't sick, just a pig. :) I met Wendy and it was my slowest, hardest run ever. yuck. A case of garbage in, garbage out? Who knows but I felt so gross.
A couple of weeks ago I wrote that if I could consume 150 calories less a day I could lose 2lbs/week. Something about writing it down made it click for me and I've lost 3lbs since then. Aside from my Wednesday night binge, I've been making little changes that seem to be adding up. Most days I only had one cup of sugar and cream filled (mmmmmm) coffee and most nights I had an apple instead of an ice cream bar for a snack. (Not every night, mind you. I do like my ice cream.) It feels good. I'd like to lose some more weight before fall arrives and I put on my winter layer again. :) (How do people lose weight in the fall/winter??? Pumpkin bread, chili, hot chocolate, Christmas cookies, pumpkin bread...how???)
Okay, back to my Dad. Yesterday he decided he wanted a smart phone so we planned to go to the mall after swimming lessons. He sat in the hot, hot sun for an hour and watched both kids swim...it was very sweet. After we had lunch in the mall food court, he headed down to Sears to check out the phones and I sat in the play area with the kids. Sadly, Sears didn't have the phones for his plan so he came back empty handed. (no worries, he can order online.) We let the kids play for quite a while he sat there doling out gumballs (to Nicky) and I went back and forth between the play area and some nearby clothing stores. (Can I just say how much I love Banana Republic?) After that we walked down to the toy store and then through a couple of other stores. I don't think I've been to the mall since last February so I enjoyed it. Being there made me WANT stuff, though. Funny how that works. We were there for THREE AND A HALF HOURS. That must be a record. After we got home we had dinner and went to the pool for open swim. It was a really nice day. Dad was gone when I got up this morning but I kissed him goodbye last night because I knew that might happen. :) He is an early bird. It was so good to see him. xoxoxo, dad.
I haven't said much about Ebay lately, I know. Not much to say! Last week I made about $300 and now this week has been only about $100 again, plus another $50 from etsy. Sometimes the weekends pick up a lot so we will see. I have lots of cute fall stuff and will probably start listing it in August. The sad thing is, I have TONS of cute summer stuff that I never got listed! I haven't been doing my 4 listings a day thing for a while. Maybe I'll try to bring that back next week.
We are half way through the summer! That is crazy. It has been a really good one so far. xoxoxo, summer.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
This is the kind of thing blogs are good for. If I posted all of this on facebook it would make lots of people sick. haha!
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
We went to the pool last Friday night and Nicky said his longest sentence ever, to Ruby of course. We were in the kiddie pool with him and Ruby said she was going in to the big pool. Nicky said, "No big pool, stay baby pool, Erbu! No way big pool!" ahhahahahhahaa. Then on Sunday night we were at a park after church and he leaned over me (I was laying in the grass) and said, "I wanna swing now, mama. Please swing now!" so cute. However, he also does that "MUM, MUMMY! MUMMY! MOM!" thing and sounds a lot like Stewie. It's scary.
On Saturday I was super crabby and tired for most of the day. I even took a nap and it didn't help. Ruby knew I was cranky and did her best to needle me all. day. long. Bless her heart. That evening we went to a pool party at our friend's house that was so nice and relaxing. There was a breeze, it was gorgeous out...the first time you could enjoy being outside in over a week. We had such a good time until the end when some unfortunate decisions lead to a fire in their backyard and their neighbor's backyard. We lit off some professional grade fireworks and the first one that went off...every ember that came down started a small fire. There were two more that went off immediately after (they were tied together) and the same thing happened. Within 30 seconds there were fires all over these two huge lots and it was dark out and there were about 30 kids present. What happened next kind of amazed me. It kind of hit us all what was happening and we first got all the kids across the street. I had Nicky in my arms and stayed with the kids (along with a couple other women) while almost every other adult got to work on the fires. They have a huge pool so they used buckets and rakes and hoses and had it all out within 10-15 minutes. The fire dept. came and checked everything but didn't need to use their hoses or anything. Even though there was a burn ban, no one got ticketed. It was so scary and stupid. We were so lucky that night. (although I know it wasn't luck.) If any one of a few little things would have been different, it could have been tragic. As it is now, we were all just in shock on Sunday and there are two burned up lots. (seeing the pics on Sunday was awful. There was a LOT of burnt ground. Thank God the grass was super short and the fires only got about knee high.) It was so hard going across that street while I could see Patrick and everyone else back there running around in all the smoke. It was awful.
The big kids slept with us Saturday night but seemed okay on Sunday. Patrick and I, on the other hand, kind of felt like zombies. Zombies who had dodged a big bullet. My friend called that afternoon to see how I was doing and we realized we were both feeling that same way. As I talked with others that were there it was clear that everyone was. Kind of a post-traumatic thing, I think. It really helped to get out and go to church that afternoon. I felt mostly better by Sunday night. Just SO thankful. SOOOOOO thankful. Lots of lessons learned that night. Also, I kind of fell in love with every person there. To see everyone working together and staying calm and comforting each other...it was pretty cool. People are amazing. I feel lucky to live here and know these people.
Okay. the end. shake it off. :) Writing it all out made me kind of sad again.
In other news, my new phone that I got doesn't work. HA! I am getting a nice long break from technology and it isn't that bad, I guess. I mostly miss taking pictures and texting with my friends. I missed Heidi at the zoo yesterday and I know that wouldn't have happened if I would have had a phone. boo. I hope to hear from them today and get a new one tomorrow. This had been crazy!
Wendy and I ran this morning and I went 2.25 miles! She always laps me and today I sped up on the straight sides of the track and slowed down on the corners and she never passed me! She came close but it was the first time she never did. :) She even said she was sprinting at the end to catch me. :) (she did almost 10 laps to my 9) I am testing myself a little now with my speed. It doesn't kill me to speed up sometimes and feels kind of good. The first 5-10 minutes of my last 2 runs have felt really hard, though. Like I want to quit immediately. It's no fun. But then it gets better...not sure why. And the end is always fun...like, I got this now...only 2 laps left or whatever. I am still nervous about doing the 5K on Saturday even though I know I can walk if I want. I would just like to be able to run it all and don't want to be too hard on myself if I can't. We'll see!
I've got to go make some coffee and get some ebay listings done. I have been having some sales but haven't gotten anything new up for over a week. Now that summer school is over we need to find our new routine. Phase 2 of summer starts now! Wish me luck!
sorry about not having any pictures. it pains me, too. :)
Friday, July 06, 2012
I RAN TWO WHOLE MILES.
woo! :) It took me 26 minutes so I'm not winning any land speed records or anything but it felt so good. It was 80 degrees and 80% humidity. Luckily, there was a sprinkler going that Wendy and I went through afterwards.
Kind of makes me think I might, just maybe, be able to run 3.2 miles someday. Probably not by next Saturday but that is okay. Maybe the next one.
Other news...Nicky is feeling better. He is talking to me normally again. I didn't realize how much I missed his little voice until I heard it at 3am.
S:Nicky, do you want to come in our bed?
N: Okay. (said normally without whining)
So happy he is better. Still has a super icky snotty nose, though. gross.
I am finding that the heat makes me more likely to wear lower cut shirts. Who cares if you can see a little bit of cleavage...it's FREAKING hot outside.
Patrick now (just slightly) weighs less than I do. Ouch. I would tell you what I weigh but then I'd have to kill you. He "needs" to lose 4 more pounds to have a "normal" rating for his BMI. Bastard.
It is supposed to cool off tomorrow. Yay! I have no idea what we're doing this afternoon but I hope I can think of something. Yesterday got pretty long, I'm not going to lie. Luckily, Ruby and I escaped last night to get groceries and a dipped cone.
I have horrible coffee breath and need to go brush. Happy Weekend!! xoxoxo
Thursday, July 05, 2012
It's going to be hot again today! Tuesday was a long day, being inside all day with a sick Ruby. Wednesday was fun...Ruby felt better and we all got out in the morning for a movie. Nicky only lasted about 40 minutes so he and I bailed and went to Target for a while. We headed home after the movie and Nicky went down for a nap (Patrick, too, I suspect) and the big kids and I jumped in Patrick's car and went for lunch and then to the Dig for a while. It was half price day and I found a lot of good stuff...it was really fun. When we got home Patrick and Nicky were out on the patio with both pools full and a curtain up for extra shade. It felt stifling initially and I said they were crazy but after a while I got used to it and it was quite pleasant. It's funny how 98 with shade and a breeze can feel pleasant, isn't it? :) We stayed out for quite a while, Nicky, Ruby, Patrick and I. James opted for legos indoors. At one point Patrick asked if I'd like some coffee and then disappeared inside for about 10 minutes. When he came out he was carrying homemade frappucino type drinks and I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Shortly after that he returned to the house and I was sure I had lost him to our bed. He surprised me again with a plate of quesadillas! It was so sweet and a really nice evening. A while later we followed Wendy and her family to the Monroe fireworks and had a really good time. Well, Nicky hated them and tucked himself in my arms for the whole show. After a while he fell asleep and I actually heard him snoring during the grand finale. haha.
I stubbed/hurt my toe so bad yesterday that it kept bleeding all through the night. It is still swollen but does feel better today and I hope it will be okay to run with by tomorrow.
It's 11:41 now. Wendy called and we actually talked for 38 minutes without interruption. A record.
I am all caught up on my laundry and that feels good for once. I've had a few sales the last couple of days and that feels good, too. I just got a lowball offer for a jacket and am asking myself, "Would I rather have $15 or that jacket sitting in my basement?" I think I'll accept her offer. :)
xoxo, have a good one.
Tuesday, July 03, 2012
Kelsey was supposed to come and babysit today instead of tomorrow as that is the 4th but now she can't, due to the poops. Patrick and I had BIG PLANS to go to Sonic for dinner. We never go to Sonic and Patrick has been thinking about their chili cheese frito dogs for a while. :) Darn it. Maybe next week. My friend Kelly was also supposed to come thrifting with me (Kelsey was going to watch her 2 kids for a while, too) so all this fun will have to wait. Something to look forward too, right?
I ran 25 minutes yesterday and then again this morning. Next week we move to 28 minutes and then 30 minutes the following week and then it's done! I will be able to run 30 minutes which won't be a whole 5K for me, but a good chunk of one. I was dreading the first 25 minute run yesterday. I didn't even believe I was going to do it until I actually started running...just couldn't commit to it in the crazy humidity. But once I got going it was, well, pretty miserable. ha! But I finished and then this morning did it again with Kelly there, which was fun. I will be kind of sad when this program is over but am still not sure I want to push myself farther. Will I enjoy running just to run? I don't know. I do love how it makes me feel, though. It's pretty cool to have something that you just do not do, have never done, and then all of a sudden (okay, very slowly) you're doing it. The only thing that is making me go in this weather is the thought of how good it will feel when it cools off again. Like heaven!! Speaking of heaven. I am so thankful for my healthy body. So thankful. What a gift. Thank you, Lord.
I can't sign off without a Nicky update. He is so cute. Have I said that before? ha. He just says everything. He answers "okay" when you ask him to do something or "no way!" He repeats the alphabet after me and loves to dance. He is a little muckball at bedtime and loves to press his nose into my bare arm and take a big sniff. He and Ruby (he calls her "erbu") have a special relationship and the three of them actually played together a lot over the weekend in a restaurant/ship they made downstairs. I'm so glad we have them.
That reminds me of my seester and her kids. She is so blessed. She has so much ahead of her...how perfect is a new baby?! I am kind of jealous but it's easier because I know she will be here in the fall and she will let me borrow both of them whenever I want. :)