Monday, July 16, 2012

5k

I wish I could write about how awesome my first 5k was but it really wasn't.

 I did feel really happy and excited before it started:  (no eye make up...didn't want to risk it running.  :)  )

The race started with a fairly big hill and when the gun went off I just RAN. I never "run." I got swept up in it and had a side ache on my left side by the top of the hill even though I scaled back to walking after just a minute. At the top of the hill I started running again, this time at my normal pace, but I never lost my side ache. By the 30 minute mark I was hurting on both sides...it felt like someone was squeezing me really tight. I walked at that point for 2 minutes and then walked/ran the last 9 minutes. I seriously thought I was going to throw up while running the last 2 blocks down Main St. towards the finish line. I was just praying that I wouldn't puke at a 5K. How humiliating that would have been. As sick as I felt, I felt better within about 3 minutes after finishing...after I had walked around a bit and had some water.  I think my final time was somewhere around 41 minutes but I am not sure.  (results not posted yet.)  Here we were a few minutes after finishing:



 At the time though I just felt so glad to be done and really happy I had finished.  I hadn't met my goal of running the whole time but when I called Patrick (we couldn't find a sitter so he stayed home with the kids) and told him what happened he told me it is really hard to recover from starting out wrong in such a "short" race.  I don't know how he knows this as he's never run a race but it did make me feel better.  :)  We proceeded to the bar and drank for the next 4 hours, which was really fun.  (see below)


 I spent most of yesterday in bed.  I wasn't puking sick but sooooo tired and dehydrated.  After bringing me lots of water and making me a smoothie, Patrick took Ruby and Nicky out for the day and James let me sleep and just kind of hung out and did his own thing.

Last night we went and saw Magic Mike (pretty stupid but pretty funny, too) and when I got home I was feeling so sad.  I talked with Patrick for a long time and finally went to bed at around 1:00am.  I woke up today still feeling sad and I think I am mostly tired but it was also hard to finish last.

Instead of feeling good about what I did, like I have every other time I've ran the last 2 months, I feel like I sucked.  Even though I KNOW I didn't, you know?  It's hard to explain.  I am just being hard on myself and I'm not even sure why.  I am a slow runner.  I might never be faster.  If I decide to do more races I will need to shift my thinking or run a larger race where I will be less likely to finish last.  :)  (I think this one had around 50 runners?  I'm not sure but it was pretty small.  There were walkers so I wasn't the LAST last one but my friend and I were the last of the runners.)  I'm having a hard time figuring out why I'm feeling this way and it will probably take me a couple days to process it...that's just how I am.  I think it was just hard for me.  If you asked me right now I would say probably no more 5ks in my future.  I don't want to ruin running for myself.  But then last night Patrick said he might want to run one and I said I might.  :)  who knows.

I know this was an accomplishment for me.  A short time ago I had never ran before in my life and I just ran all but 6 minutes of a 5K.  Why am I so hard on myself sometimes?

I don't want this to be a POOR ME post.  I don't feel POOR ME, I guess I feel more baffled by these feelings and how they kind of came out of nowhere last night and wanted to be honest about them here.  I have gotten nothing but awesome encouragement from my friends and family and it has been so helpful for me.  Thank you!!!!

So that was my first 5k!

WTF?!  :)

xoxoox

6 comments:

  1. Great job Stephanie! So proud of you! I am sorry it didn't go as you had hoped, but it is such an accomplishment. Xoxoxo

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  2. OMG...you're my hero...you finished I wouldn't make it walking more than a mile and in my early years I was a runner!

    Good Job I am proud of you.
    xoxo

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  3. PS. you look terrific afterwards too.

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  4. hahahhaa, thanks Melissa. :) and I did feel pretty terrific at that point.

    Thank you Sybil. You are such an inspiration to me.

    xoxoxo, to you both!

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  5. I'm sorry it didn't go as you had wanted, but you finished! Like Sybil said, that is an accomplishment!! Running or walking with side aches is very painful. I wouldn't have finished. I am proud of you!! I think many people don't run as they planned in their first 5k, because it's the first one, and it's exciting and easy to start off quick (IMO).
    If this helps, my brother puked at the finish line of a 1 mile race. ( I don't want to use his name, but he was in youth group at church). Miss you!!

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  6. Stephanie! Remember me? :)
    I am a new runner (started a year ago) as well! I did three 5Ks last fall, but my first race was pretty much what you experienced in your first 5K. I thought I had signed up for a 5K (last August), but it was a 4.3 mile trail run - MUCH different than running on a track or on a street. i didn't prepare for it properly and it was pure hell. i also started off way too fast, on an uphill and that just killed me. I finished dead last with my running partner at 1 hour, 27 minutes. I vowed never to do another race again and was sad for the next few days. i didn't want to talk about it to anyone even when they kept saying, "you did it! you finished!" ugh.
    but then...a miracle! i kept getting up early to run, and i kept running, and i signed up for two turkey trots and did a 5K in downtown pittsburgh and they were FUN. i loved them so much, even though they were still hard...i ran/walked them and i haven't stopped running since.
    I now have a running partner and I love having an accountability partner in my running. I'm not a fast runner, nor am I running long distances yet. We ran 2.75 miles this morning, and next time we go out, we're aiming for a 5K training run. My next race isn't until the end of August, but I'm still nervous about it. I'm aiming to run the entire thing (not stop to walk once...which will be a first for me!)
    I understand and went through your "first race fail frustration!" but keep it up! you're a RUNNER!!
    ~liz

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