Does anybody else have a warped or unclear perception of what their body actually looks like? Do you struggle to have a clear idea of how you look as you move around in this life? I think I do. A lot of times I will see people who I think might be larger than me but wonder if they might also weigh the same as I do? Does my butt look like that? Is she a lot smaller than me? How much would I need to lose to look like that?
I say all of this because I'm being really honest. I do think about how my body looks to myself and others. I also want to say that I think I have a pretty healthy body image and am not AT ALL obsessed with this. It just comes up sometimes, you know? Especially when I see a bad picture or something...like, do I really look like that???
So Nicky is sleeping and I was watching this show "Girls" on HBO. In one scene this girl gets naked and she looks kind of chubby. Not fat, but chubbier than most naked girls you might see on TV. Well, I googled her, just to see...how do I compare to what size she is? Because I was thinking, if she looks like that as a size __ then I must look like this as a size __. You know? Do you see my train of thought? (Her name is Lena Dunham, btw, and she is a size 8.) (I am a size 14. not even close. :) )
So then I google "see size 14 body" and click on the first site that comes up. It's www.mybodygallery.com
This site is not dirty at all...they try to keep it very clean. You can actually input your height and weight and search for submitted pictures of women's bodies that have your same stats. Crazy! You know what I found out? I still mostly see myself as I looked +20 pounds ago. As I imagine myself going through my life, that is how I think I look. When I enter my current stats, those women look pretty good to me. Yes, they are still chubby (some might say fat but I don't like that word or want to "own" it like some women do) but none of them look really big. (to me! I realize this is subjective. A size 12 might seem really fat to some. That's cool.) I also checked and saw if I lost 10 pounds, what those bodies looked like. They look really good to me...it was neat to get a glimpse of what I might look like if I lose 10 more pounds.
It was just all pretty interesting so I thought I'd share it.
Any thoughts? Anyone else ever experience this?